So, yesterday was my Birthday. I say that only because it’s become tradition, over the last couple of years, to write a blog post on or around my birthday. Mostly to document where I’m at and what has led me here.
I started it a couple of years ago, because I was searching for something. Something that I knew was just out of my grasp: a life I wanted to live. I’ve been through a lot these last couple of years in pursuit of this crazy unobtainable dream. Sometimes it’s felt like I would never get there. That I would be stuck forever in this place, looking for something that I wasn’t even sure existed. And now I know that it does.
Today I finally, truly realized something. This is the life I want to live. It may not be perfect every day. I may not even be exactly where I want to be. Maybe I’ll never be there. Maybe that’s the point.
So, for traditions sake, this is where I’m at.
Today is overcast. The kind of gray day that hangs over the world like a pall. It has been sprinkling on and off all day, remnants of Tropical Storm Bill. But it is also a beautiful day because I am alive and here on this earth.
I have an amazing husband who inspires (and sometimes needles) me to be the better person I strive to be. I could not have envisioned what our life would be like now when we met fourteen years ago. He was and still remains one of my best friends.
I have an equally amazing son who (at almost 9) is starting to say goodbye to childhood, and who is showing me everyday the kind of man he’s going to be. I am honored and humbled to have a hand in that. I am equally honored to be changed by him as well. Every laugh, smile, hug, scolding, talk, and activity we enjoy together is teaching me more about life than I learned in the whole 23 years before I had him.
I have some great friends who are there for me when I need them. Even when I don’t think I need them, they are there for me, reminding me that I don’t have to do things alone (no matter what my stubborn redheaded side is telling me).
I am slowly coming to learn that I can do things I want to do, but there’s a lot more involved than just the “wanting”.
And this is what I’ve learned.
I have learned in the last year that sacrifice is necessary for achieving your dreams. But you have to understand what you’re sacrificing, and whether it’s worth it to you — **or not**. I have also learned that sacrifice is not the only ingredient in achieving your dreams. That equal amounts of belief, perseverance, and grace are also needed. Especially grace.
Grace is the one ingredient that I’ve struggled with for a long time. Grace does not come easy to me. It never has. But it’s something that I’m learning is a huge part of success.
So that’s where I stand on my 32nd Birthday. A little nearer to my goals and little more okay with where I’m at right now.
And just so you don’t think this is all about me…
We do nothing in a vacuum. My friends and followers (yes, you) have been just as responsible for my personal growth over the last couple of years as my own efforts. In fact, I would hazard to say that you have had more of an impact. 🙂 Having you listen, and comment has really helped to keep me grounded and happy. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
And if this post helped you realize something, or maybe if you just want to unload, drop me a comment. I’d be happy to hear from you.