Life Reboot: Month 10

This post won’t be so much a “check-in” with all the stats as a “check-in” on the life reboot in general. The last time I updated my progress it was about three months ago and I had fallen off the wagon a bit. Since then I’ve managed to hop back on and resume my place on the trail. The only thing I really haven’t been doing is tracking.

Instead I’ve been kind of “feeling” my way through this reboot. I know that’s not very scientific. I really do like to have the data to look back on, but I also feel like I learned a lot. Maybe in not tracking, it allowed me to live and step back when I was done and analyze the whole, rather than micro-analyzing the little things. I still think tracking is very useful, and I’m picking it back up again. I also think the time away helped me get some clarity.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

I love creative work.

There’s something that’s been missing from my life for a while. I think the answer now is creative work. Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved to write. For a long time it was just making up stories in my head. Maybe it came from reading a lot, or having a big imagination. Whatever spawned it, I did it all the time. As I grew older that became actually writing stories, as well as consuming them. For a long time, I’ve wanted to write fiction for a living.

In the last couple of months I’ve started some new creative endeavors. One of these is loosely tied to writing fiction and the other is something else. Working on these has made me feel so much happier. I also feel more fulfilled. I didn’t realize that feeling was missing from my life until I felt it again. Sure, I love parts of my job. Helping people launch websites which show off their business makes me feel good, because I’m helping them do something they couldn’t do on their own. I’ve always loved helping in that way, but it doesn’t completely fulfill that creative need. In fact, a lot of the work is more analytical or straightforward coding. While that can be creative. Often times it’s not. Again, that doesn’t mean I hate it, just that I needed something else.

Right now these creative endeavors are really just in the planning and prep work stages. I’ll talk more about them as they get closer to launching.

Less Stress Means More Clarity and Better Productivity

Hi, my name is Cassie and I’m a worrier. I worry about a lot of things in my life these days: my financial stability, my emotional stability, am I raising my son right, am I doing what I need to be successful, is this even the right path for me. The list goes on and on. Each of these worries takes up space in my brain, which makes it hard for me to focus on a solution, or just let go altogether. Since I know that letting go altogether is not something I’m capable of right now, I’ve tried to clear some space in my mind so that I can focus on a solution, or at least working towards a solution.

Some days this is easier than others.

On those days when I feel overwhelmed, I make little to no progress. I just don’t have the brain space to process anything beyond feeling overwhelmed. So, I’ve started to give myself a “pass” on those days. I give myself the day to wallow, or chill out, or do whatever I need to do to work shit out. I try not to feel guilty or ashamed of these days as I have in the past. It’s one day; it’s my whole life. Then the next day, I try to get back to it. Again, sometimes this is easier than others. I’ve noticed in the past couple of months that the more I try, the easier it gets. It’s becoming something of a routine for me. Maybe I’m rewiring my brain, or maybe it’s just the comfort of knowing what comes next that makes it easier. Whatever it is, it’s starting to work and I feel much clearer than I have in a long time.

This has led to more progress towards the things I want to be working on, which has also created the side effect of making me feel happier.